Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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