we have officially lost it.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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