are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
