my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
