I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
