...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
