actually, I'm a sock model
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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