If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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