all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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