She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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