4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
this just has baby written all over it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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