Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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