saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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