I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
