u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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