Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.