I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online