Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth