We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
