Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
