Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
