Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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