I didn't shave. On purpose
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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