She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
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