if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
