my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
