maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
