It's Friday. Sex?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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