nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
