names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
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What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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