I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize