Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
