Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
