Need sex. Gaining weight.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
