was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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