I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize