Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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