I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
