you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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