in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
