how can u be prego again
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
