He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
