I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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