You're my little dorito
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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