No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
