theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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