i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
