While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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