dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
