Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
