So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
