I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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