You smell like stripper and shame
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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