All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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