So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize