You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
