i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
my poor anus
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
