that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
