spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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