I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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