I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
