Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
