i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
