I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I wannas sexs uuuuu
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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