Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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